20 Things About Me You Probably Don’t Know

Here are 20 things about me you probably don’t know unless you’re related, are secretly writing my biography or have run into me while I’m drunk.

I’m an only child

I’m an only child. It probably explains a good deal about me. Growing up without a brother or sister didn’t bother me because I didn’t know what I was missing. When I had two kids, and witness their interactions, I realized having a brother or sister would have been better.




I’m not exactly a stay-at-home dad anymore

My status as a SAHD dad has fluctuated over the years.

After my son was born, during some of my darker days, I was a full-time stay-at-home parent for about a year. Then I got a writing job that involved going into an office most days. My son went to daycare.

When my daughter was born, she went to daycare with my son. After I was laid off from the full-time job, my son was in public school. To save money on daycare, I once again became a SAHD until I made enough freelancing to send her back to full-time daycare.

These days, I’m working as a full-time freelancer and pick my kids up every day from camp and eventually school, but they don’t live with me.

It’s hard to classify myself as a stay-at-home parent when I live alone.

So as of right now, I’m just a dad.

I hate riding in elevators alone

My family vacationed in Wildwood, New Jersey for many summers. One afternoon, while waiting for an elevator to head down to the hotel arcade, the lift got stuck between floors with people inside.

I wasn’t one of those people. However, I could hear them yelling and banging on the metals doors. The fire department came to set them free.

To this day, even with cell phones and call boxes right inside, I hate riding in an elevator. I do it but doesn’t mean I’m cool with it.

The 3 Marker Challenge With A Special “Guest”

I like to cook

I don’t cook as much anymore, but I did pick up some culinary skills over the years.

At one point, I was posting recipes on this website.

Those recipes include Salisbury steak, tequila chili, sesame ginger beef, meatballs with white beans, veggie bean burrito, pale ale chili, poor man’s soup, chicken & roasted beet saladcilantro lime pork burritos, and two different types of pizza.

I like to cook, but I don’t cook enough.

I’m separated

I’ve written extensively about my separation over on Fatherly. This article tells most of the story.

I did stand-up for a short time

Performing stand-up comedy was a life goal for as long as I can remember.

As a kid, during the height of the 1980s comedy boom, I’d watch hours of stand-up on television. From The Young Comedians specials and George Carlin performances on HBO to weekly shows like Standup Spotlight on VH1 and Def Comedy Jam.

I watched stand-up almost as much as I watched professional and I watch A LOT of professional wrestling.

Here’s a video from my very first performance back in 2013.

People ask all the time if I miss doing stand-up. I miss performing in front of people. I don’t miss any of the other stuff involved.

I sold this website and bought it back

Right around the time I was working full-time for a different website, and not spending all day with the kids, I experienced burnout with the notes

A company made an offer for the website. The notes remained my personal and intellectual property.

It was a stupid move. I bought MWAB back a year later.

I get at least 3-4 emails about a week about joining a cult

For those people new to the website who might only know me as the guy who writes on sticky notes, my last name is Illuminati. Yes, it’s my real last name.

I’m bombarded weekly with offers to join the Illuminati, get cursed for being a part of the Illuminati and pleas to be accepted into the Illuminati.

I answer every email the same. Just PayPal me $100K and the person is officially a member.

So far, no takers.

Things About Me You Probably Don't Know

I love to read but haven’t finished a book in quite some time

I’m in the middle of six different books. I can’t finish one.

This seems ironic coming from a guy who’s authored 5 books.

It’s not that I don’t want to read, I can’t stay awake to read more than a few pages.

Even in the middle of the day!

I’m currently reading but not finishing Born To Run, Waiting For The Punch, City on Fire, and a few others.

I’ve never lived anywhere but New Jersey

I was born in New Jersey, went to college in New Jersey, and still live in the same town as my high school and college.

I once came in second in a fiction writing contest

This was my submission. Check out my other website for more of my fiction work.

I’ve been using the sticky notes all wrong

And so have you. WATCH!

I could survive eating only soft pretzels

Any variety of soft pretzel, specifically the kinds at sporting events, concerts and convenience stores. I especially like the pretzels in the frozen food section of the grocery store. My kids are addicted to them too.

I do a series on ‘how to write’ 

I want to help people become better writers called “How Do I Write?”. I’m not obsessed with grammar and won’t mold anyone into the next Jonathan Franzen.

I’m concerned with teaching people the stuff that should be common knowledge. Sadly not everyone knows how to do simple tasks like how to write a cover letter, how to write a thank you card and how to write with writer’s block.

I worry the kids will one day read one of these notes and not understand everything was said as a joke 

Some of the notes make it seem like the kids make my life a living hell. They don’t. It’s all in the name of comedy.

I’ll offer to pay their therapists bills though.

I was on MTV for an entire week in the summer of 1998

Two of my friends and I went to the beach in Seaside Heights, NJ for the day. MTV was stopping people on the boardwalk and asking questions.

It was an audition, of sorts, and they told us to come back a few days later at 7 am with a few changes of clothes.

We taped a week’s worth of MTV programs in a day including “Say What” with Matt Pinfield and “The Grind” but there was no dancing involved. We just sat around for hours and pretended to care about an interview with the band Next.

I like to run. Sometimes

I love to run for many reasons. None of those reasons are for fun or enjoyment.

I don’t eat sweets

I quit cold turkey in June 2017. I don’t eat candy, haven’t had cake, and won’t touch ice cream. I always felt physically awful after eating any of it and decided to just stop feeling awful. I haven’t looked back or missed them at all. Coffee, however, well that’s a different story altogether.

I was in a college production of The Breakfast Club

Yup, this happened.

The Breakfast Club Rider

I played Andy the wrestler.

I should have auditioned for more roles.

My notes were once on a segment of Good Morning America.

I don’t keep the notes

People assume that after writing a note and posting it online that I put it away. Nope. Each note goes right in the garbage.

Those are just 20 things you probably don’t know about me. If you want to know more, ask in the comments.

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4 Comments on “20 Things About Me You Probably Don’t Know”

  1. Try Audible! I was also one who began falling asleep while reading and I LOVE to read. Audible changed that for me and now I get through books while cleaning, commuting to and from work, hanging out in the back yard, etc. Give it a shot!

    And I am also addicted to soft pretzels but, like you with sweets, I stay away. Unless I’m in Philadelphia…then all bets are off.

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