Funniest Jokes For Kids
Quick, tell me one of the best jokes for kids that you can recall. You know you’ve probably heard them all, but it’s hard to remember the good ones when the perfect moment arises, isn’t it?
A child’s sense of humor is an ever-changing conglomeration of nonsense and cringe-worthy fecal references. To keep up with them, you’ll need all the kid-friendly ammunition you can get, because one day you’ll be bombarded with every knock-knock joke known to mankind, and the next they’ll be telling jokes so cheesy, you’ll want to grab a bottle of wine.
There’s little rhyme or reason to their humor, it just goes with the flow, so it’s best for “cool” parents to cover all the bases at once.
You’ll probably want to bookmark this page, because you’re about to have that “go to” list for when you’re in dire need of the best jokes for kids.
Best + Funniest Jokes For Kids
Hilarious Jokes For Younger Kids
[Editor’s Note – Like the T-Rex car crash? It’s available as a sticker here.]
We are all aware that jokes for kids are usually downright silly, and a great number of the best jokes for kids are about animals doing ridiculous things. Kids seem to enjoy jokes that include anything from snails riding turtles, to cows on trampolines.
When telling jokes for kids, it’s important to remember: the impossible rules supreme.
- Why did the student eat his homework? His teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
- What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
- What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? He was stuffed.
- What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milkshake.
- Why did the banana go to the hospital? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.
- What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite!
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
- How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?
- What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
- Where would you find an elephant? The same place as you lost her!
- What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!
- What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Funny Holiday Jokes For Kids
Holiday-themed jokes for kids are especially popular at the beginning of each new school year. The best jokes for kids are quite often about – and during – Halloween and Christmas, but most kids will gleefully share a Frosty the Snowman joke in July.
Where do turkeys go to dance?
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up!
How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
With a hare-dryer!
What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Eggs-ercise and hare-robics!
What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
Where does the snowman hide his money?
In the snow bank
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim
Why do mummies like the holidays?
Because of all the wrapping!
Which reindeer likes to clean?
What do ghosts eat for supper?
Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have any guts!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Funny Jokes For Older Kids
Eventually, your child will progress to more legitimately comical jokes. If you’re incredibly lucky, you might hear some really funny jokes for kids that you haven’t ever heard before.
Technology brings a whole new subject to poke fun at – one which hasn’t been around forever and a day. This is likely how you’ll catch something fresh, be it regarding computers and video games, or referencing popular movies and tv shows.
Funny jokes for kids are not always funny to adults, especially when you hear them frequently, so when you come across a rare gem that makes you belly laugh or cry tears, it is highly recommended that you save it. Technology is here to stay, and technology related jokes are set to rule the list of best jokes for kids, for years to come.
- What do you call a rich elf? Welfy.
- What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
- What’s the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field.
- How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
- What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!
- How can you tell a vampire has a cold? She starts coffin.
- How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
- What did the mathematician put on his tombstone? “I didn’t count with this.”
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
- Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
- What’s Irish and stays out all night long? Pati’o Furniture.
- What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
- What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
- What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
- Why is there a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An IM-pasta.
- What do snakes take for their allergies? Anti-hissssss-tamines.
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? When it’s full.
- Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because she’s always running away from the ball.
- What did the ocean say when it saw the storm coming? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.
- How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie into it.
- What time should you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
- How do you find Will Smith when he’s lost in the snow? You just look for fresh prints.
- Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria.
Best Knock-Knock Jokes For Kids
Knock knock jokes for kids are some of the easiest to remember and the most fun to tell, especially for the younger up-and-coming comedians. Most of the time, they’re simply a cute play on words, which as a bonus, could benefit their vocabulary or enhance creativity.
Unfortunately for parents, knock knock jokes for kids can also be the most annoying type to hear over and over. You know you will forever cringe at the one that repeats banana a few times before saying orange.
Seeing how fun and simple they are for the kids to tell, a list of the best jokes for kids wouldn’t be complete without including a handful of knock-knock jokes.
You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!
No thanks, but I would like a peanut instead!
Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me the remote.
Madam foot got caught in the door!
No, seriously, it’s just me. I am telling a knock-knock joke.
That’s correct, owls who!
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Echo who? Echo who?
Oink oink who?
Make up your mind, are you a pig or an owl?!
What are you so excited about?
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it’s pointless!
No I’m not!
I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Best Joke Books For Kids
If your kid just can’t get enough jokes, give him or her the gift of a hilarious joke book.
Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One-liners for kids – Chock full of hilarious jokes wisecracks, riddles, and knock-knock jokes, Jokes for Kids is for young readers—and their parents!
Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids – Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! Over 1.5 million copies sold!
The Everything Kids’ Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers – As kids guess the answers, they’re sure to get the giggles! With this book, little ones will look forward to sharing the jokes with parents, teachers, and siblings–and even coming up with some variations of their own!
Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids – Kids can’t get enough of laughter–so they can’t get enough of Rob Elliot’s hilarious joke books! Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids is an all-new collection of knock-knock jokes that will have kids and kids-at-heart rolling in the aisles.
Jokelopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever! – It’s the mother of all kids’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions.
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