Reasons Every Mom Wishes Her Best Friend Lived Next Door
You wouldn’t have to drive nine hours with crying children just to see each other for a day or two during which you spend the majority of time trying to appease the crying children.
Wine night would not end with you having to take an Uber, you could just stumble over the fence.
Because when you are upset, you need her.
Because when she is upset, she needs you.
All the cellphone minutes you save could be used to make prank calls like you did in college.
You would know that when you get suckered into hosting jewelry/essential oil/makeup parties that you would have at least one friend there …
… And that she would buy something just so you don’t look like a total failure.
… And then you could later die laughing at what a failure the party was.
Your children could become friends and/or marry each other.
Your dogs could become friends and/or you could stage a wedding for them because that’s the kind of dumb shit best friends with bored kids do on a rainy Sunday.
Because you currently do not have anyone else to listen to NSYNC or TLC with, do you?
Your Friday nights will no longer be you, alone, in sweatpants, looking at your phone for an hour after the kids go to bed until your eyes just won’t stay open anymore.
It is far more efficient to simply show her the new pants that you think give you mom butt rather than try to describe them to her over the phone and take 5,000 selfies that don’t quite capture what you’re trying to explain.
No longer will you have to lie to the clerk at the grocery store about the case of wine you just bought, because “I plan to share these with a friend,” will ACTUALLY be true.
Your husband is getting sick of you asking him to watch “Friends”/”Sex and the City”/any rom-com.
You could do super awesome Pinterest projects together.
You could laugh hysterically at your super miserable Pinterest fails.
You wouldn’t have to start conversations by saying things like, “It’s been far too long since we talked.”
“America’s Next Top Model” is meant to be viewed by best friends sitting on the same couch, sharing the same bottle of wine and having the same love/hate relationship with Tyra.
Play dates would be way more fun and far less awkward.
You wouldn’t have to explain yourself when you need a last-minute sitter/opinion on your outfit/fried food to cure your hangover.
The kids don’t share your love for good cheese quite the way your best friend does.
HELLL-OOOOO! All the money you save on traveling to see each other could be spent on dark chocolate and Amazon Instant movies.
A best friend makes the best running buddy.
A best friend makes the best drinking buddy.
A best friend makes the best shopping buddy.
Because no matter how awesome your neighbors are, no one is as badass as your best friend.