A bunch of bros in Spokane, Washington are throwing a backyard BBQ in a couple of weeks. They’re looking to hire a “generic dad” with BBQ skills and the gift of gab.
“To interested individuals,
We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of “BBQ Dad” That being said, we are in need of a generic father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may stay the full duration of the party). Duties include:
– Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking beer)
– Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to change. We will provide all of the meat)
– Refer to all attendees as “Big Guy’, “Chief”, “Sport”, “Champ” etc. (whilst drinking beer)
– Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.
– A minimum of 18 years experience as a father
– A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
– An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer day
We can’t pay you in money, BUT we can give you all the food and cold beer your heart desires. Grill for a few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold ones with the boys.
THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are interested. Preference will be given to applicants named Bill, Randy, or Dave.
Send us an email with a selfie and a little about yourself!”
The only place I’m lacking is the “years experience” as a dad. I’ve got 7 years under my belt. But what I lack in years of experience required, I make up for in dad jokes and nicknames. I can nickname a guy with the best of them. I’m also a solid cook.
If they’re willing to give me a place to crash, I will consider flying out to Spokane to dad the fuck out of their backyard BBQ. Let me know, fellas.